The Joys and Frustrations of Parenthood
by Fati Sasspants
Summary: A oneshot revolving around Vegeta and his infuriating little family.


Vegeta was too irritated with Trunks' absence to pay attention to his daughter's dinosaur ballet. She twirled and danced and hummed around and around, not concerned with her father's disregard. It was thirty after noon, and Bulla was showing signs of crankiness, though was compliant so long as he let her parade around in the grass, insisting that it was much too early for a nap, and that she would join them while they trained. If Trunks ever showed up, that was.

"What on Earth is taking that boy so long?" Vegeta mumbled below his breath.

"Look, daddy! Puddin' is plie-eying!"

Vegeta resisted the urge to shake his head. A stuffed dinosaur called Pudding. "I see," he said without enthusiasm.

Some time passed before Trunks frantically raced up to them.

"You're late. Where have you been?"

Trunks leaned over, resting all his weight on his knees. "Grandpa...made me...change the litter boxes," he said between huffs. "I told him I was in a hurry... he wouldn't listen."

"Where's Mommy?" Bulla asked.

"I told you once already, your mother is gone for the day."

"Oh."

Vegeta nodded, folding his thick arms across his chest. "Half the day is wasted already, but you will still train," he said to Trunks.

"Mom said we could swim today," he blurted without thinking, immediately regretting it.

"Swimmin'?" Bulla said hopefully, a smile blossoming on her tiny face. "Yay!"

"There will be no swimming," Vegeta duly informed them. "We haven't time."

Bulla's face scrunched up angrily, "but mom said-"

"Forget what she said. I'm in charge right now." he turned his attention to Trunks, who scowled and copied him, folding his own small arms and looking indifferent. "You've been slacking off lately, and no son of mine is going to be a slacker; not like Kakarot's boy. Or should I say_ boys_."

Trunks suffered in silence, but that was not a face Vegeta wanted to see for the remainder of the day. The boy really was spoiled. He scoffed. He thought that Bulla might be taking it better, until he looked down and realized she was about to cry.

Having children was absolutely infuriating. Why did people procreate? Why didn't he stop after one? He sighed, rolling his eyes. How he wished it were possible to just fly off, abandon all responsibility, go back to his old ways...no, he thought with a scowl, the woman would assemble a ship and find him, no matter where he went.

His gaze shifted from Trunks, boring holes into the grass and arms folded so tightly with his chin tucked in them, to Bulla, bright blue eyes glistening with tears. Having children was like having two pint-sized Kakarot's. It was the exact same thing, he realized as a jolt of fear ran through him.

"You may swim after," he finally grunted out. And it was his decision; he hadn't been swayed, he told himself. He was an unmovable force; a pair of crossed arms and watery eyes meant nothing to him- though logically he knew that if he at least bargained, that the day would go by a lot faster.

"All right!" Trunks exclaimed, jumping into the air.

"Come now," Vegeta said, heading away from the compound. They walked slowly so that Bulla could keep up. She and Trunks threw handfuls of grass at one another, stuck their tongues out, and darted around behind their father.

"Enough!" Vegeta shouted, causing both children to flinch. Their little squabble lasted the whole time it took for them to get a safe distance from the compound. His arms fell to his sides. "Are you ready to begin?"

"Uh, yeah," Trunks answered hesitantly, "but what's Bulla gonna do? She's still too little."

"If I were a brunkyasaur you wouldn't say I was too little," Bulla replied moodily.

"Well duh, that's because you'd be huge," Trunks shot back.

Just then, she lashed out, shoving her brother hard in the side. Such a move from a four year old was hardly cause for concern, but it did rile Trunks up and distract him. Vegeta grabbed her chubby little arm and led her away, instructing her to sit and be quiet. Bulla still was a bit too young to train with them.

"You will sit in time out," he told her, snatching the stuffed animal away.

"Puddin'!" Tears sprang to her eyes.

He put the toy an arms distance from her. "When you have learned to behave you may have it back."

Twice he had had to scold her for trying to sneak the toy, but eventually she gave up. Suddenly, she appeared unusually complaint to sit and be quiet while they powered up and readied themselves, but it wasn't long before she decided to join them, blindly kicking the air with all her might.

"Hey, no fair!" Trunks complained. "She's supposed to be in time out!"

Vegeta's shadow, giant compared to that of a child, suddenly engulfed her. She looked up at him. Any normal child would be fearful, but his children were not. It was still a strange concept. "Just what is it that you think you are doing?"

"I'm done bein' pundished," she told him simply.

"Oh?" he asked, trying to conceal a smirk. "Explain."

The little girl said sweetly, "First I was pundished, but then, then I don't be pundished no more, aaand... now I'm kickin', see?" at that, she swiftly kicked the air in front of her, and then toppled over onto her rear. Trunks exploded in a fit of laughter, also falling to the ground.

"So I see." He scowled down at her. For the first time, she seemed to notice the irritation, and frowned back. "And do you know why you were being punished?"

She nodded her head. "'M sorry."

"This is such a jip," Trunks mumbled from behind. "I bet she's not even going to have to be in time out anymore, right?"

He extended his hand to the girl, and led her back to the time out spot, explaining that she would not receive, nor should she expect, any special treatment. Trunks appeared satisfied with that. He left her in the tall grass. Not fifteen minutes had passed before she began to squirm on the sidelines. Squirming was nothing new for children, especially his, so Vegeta simply ignored her. It wasn't long before she was jumping around with her hands clasped over her front, waving them down.

Vegeta growled and paused mid-punch. "What is it?"

"I gotsta go potty!"

His patience was beginning to wear thin. "So hold it!" he shouted back at her.

"But I caaan't!" the little girl insisted pitifully.

"Fine! Trunks!" he swung his head over to his oldest. "Take your sister inside."

Trunks sighed in frustration and took a step toward her.

"No!" she cried. "I want you."

Trunks blinked. He looked at his father and shrugged. "She wants you, Dad."

Vegeta grit his teeth and powered down from Super Saiyajin. He tried to control the shakiness in his arms and legs as he marched over and grabbed the little girl's hand, heading for home.

"Carry me?" she asked.

"You have two perfectly good legs. Walk."

She cried, "I can't make it!"

He hesitated and clenched his jaw. Normal children would cower and comply with his demands, but not his own. They were bossy, arrogant and knew how to get what they wanted. It was all that damned woman's fault. He quickly reached down and picked the girl up, then hurried into the building.

When they returned, Trunks had powered down, as well, and was busily pulling out handfuls of grass.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Vegeta asked as he set Bulla, who looked much happier (and had a cookie in her hand, Trunks noticed), down.

"Well, no, but you were taking forever..."

"Daddy?"

"Enough!" Vegeta barked. "There will be no more distractions. Do you hear me?"

"I just wanted to know if I could play with Puddin' yet," the little girl said quietly, lowering her head. She fidgeted with her fingers. "It's been like, a million minutes."

"If it will keep you quiet!" He noted the disappointed look on her face but kept his mind on training. Wasting no time, he quickly powered back up.

"Uh, dad?"

Vegeta replied quickly, so quickly that he didn't even notice he was full out screaming. "_What! What_ is it?"

"Uh, Mom's home," Trunks answered timidly. "Jeez. Sorry."

Vegeta could feel the rage working in his blood. It was coming. The pulsing in his temples was almost unbearable. He couldn't ever remember being this annoying as a child. Perhaps it was this weak Earth life his children had grown up with.

"Hey guys," Bulma cheerily greeted them, stepping out of her hovercar. Both children rushed to greet her. She pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and picked Bulla up, following Trunks back to their training area.

"Why aren't you wearing your suits?" she asked, shooting Vegeta a dangerous look.

"Ummmm," Bulla said.

Trunks clamped his mouth shut.

Nice turned to ferocious in a matter of seconds. "I told you to take the kids swimming."

No words came to mind. He simply stared at her as though she'd gone mad. If he couldn't even handle them on dry land, what chance did he have in the water? Surely, Trunks would sink like a rock and Bulla would insist upon being held the entire time, with or without a flotation device.

"Vegeta, I'm talking to you! Hello!"

"Yeah, _hellooo_!" Bulla repeated.

"Urgh! I would much rather face my death a thousand times than spend another moment with—with _that!_" he pointed at Bulla. "The boy is just as bad when he's around her."

"Stop acting like such a baby," Bulma told him. She rolled her eyes and handed Bulla to Trunks. "Kids, go change into your suits."

"I refuse," Vegeta said simply, folding his arms.

Bulma leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Vegetaaaa..."

"Get off of me."

Her grip became tighter. "Oh, don't be such a grump."

It was the same black magic his daughter used on him, and he wasn't about to fall for it. Nothing had been accomplished, the whole day, ruined, and he was damned if he wasn't going to call Trunks out after dinner to finish what they'd never even started. He remained impassive, impervious to her long eyelashes and full, pink lips, even as she playfully kissed him.

"I mean it, woman," he said, refusing to make eye contact. "Let go. You have no idea what I've had to put up with today."

"Oh, I don't, do I? I have to put up with it every day," she told him, "while you're out here training."

The kisses continued, from his lips to his cheek and eventually to his ear. He sighed and unfolded his arms, Bulma hanging off him like an obsessed teenager. He finally looked at her, a scowl on his face.

"You are such a pest. It's pathetic, really."

"And you're a jerk," she said matter of factly, smiling. She traced her finger down his jaw line, and then down his chest. Then suddenly she jabbed him, hard. "Now, I'm going to go put my suit on. You'd better not be wearing a shirt when I get back. And you had better be nice to the kids. Or else."

He entertained the thought of simply flying off for a couple of hours, but let it go. The times he seriously considered such an act were less and less frequent these days, even with how infuriating his family could be.

"Or else what?" he cockily inquired.

Bulma shrugged and shut her eyes, holding her head high. "Or else I might just have a meeting every day next week. And I might just tell my parents to get lost."

Vegeta hesitated. "You... wouldn't?"

"You better believe it, buster." She flashed him a dazzling smile and turned to leave.

"Go on then," he called after her, "go paint yourself up like a harlot and put on that skimpy thing you call swimwear. It covers nothing, you know!"

"That's the point!"

He almost grinned. He wondered why out of all the women in the galaxy, he had picked her. She was pretty, but certainly, he had had more beautiful women in his lifetime. More sophisticated, charming, better suited for a prince. She was rude, bossy, self centered at times, and obnoxiously loud. She provoked him and stood up to him, even with the knowledge that he could crush her with a single swipe.

He smirked, deciding that he admired her courage. Even if she wasn't what he had pictured a wife should be, he decided he liked a challenge now and then. After all, he had grown quite fond of her... the children as well, he supposed.


End file.
